Some Things Are Better Left, Unsaid

Some Things Are Better Left, Unsaid

The cold, night air brushed my face and shoulders, running down my back, chilling my spine, as I looked down below, into the ocean that surrounded me. It was a relatively unbusy night, which made it easier for me to walk to the side of the bridge, taking one last glance.

I wasn’t disappointed either, the water, now still, was a sight to behold, one that I’d cherish during my final moments, thinking of the joys that had once so heavily populated my life. My parents, had died two years ago, leaving me alone and cold in this godforsaken world. They had filled my life with happiness, acceptance, and encouragement, and when they died, my happiness ceased to be as well.

Life became hard, and my brother was no help at all, he was too focused on himself to care about my grief, and that was primarily the reason I was here now. It’s not like I didn’t seek the help, I sought the relief, yet no-one would care to assist me, especially not my own brother. He ignored me, pushing me to the depths of despair.

I took a deep breath, and moved my left foot off the railing that was beneath my feet.

“Dominic, get your ass down from there! So help me man, I will haul your ass in, again.” It was my brother, pointing his police-issued pistol at me, trying to convince me to get down, or I’d be shot.

“I’m not afraid of death, Eric. You can point your stupid gun at me all you want, it’s not going to convince me from getting down, back on to the stupid bridge. I can’t take it anymore, and I’m done.” I turned around, looking into his dark brown eyes, seeing his sorrow and regret, realizing, maybe he did care, in some selfish way.

“Dominic, I… You need to step down man. I’m here, trying to help you. Just, give me a fucking chance, alright?” He reached his hand out to my arm, making a gesture to to help me down onto the pavement.

I actually laughed a little, in an angry sort of way, trying to let him know, he wasn’t given just one chance. “Eric, I tried to ask you for help. You were always so self-centered, I couldn’t even get you to talk about the problem with me. Do you understand what I even went through? I don’t think you did.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean!? They were my parents too, how can you accuse me of not caring? I sought justice, I tried to help the station find the guy who hit them. Isn’t that enough, to show that I fucking cared?”

“No Eric, that wasn’t enough. Because, in reality, you had me. I was always here, and when I needed you the most, you were never there. Sure, you let me stay with you when they died, for a grand total of three months, and then kicked me to the curb, but that shows no feeling of care whatsoever. You let me drop out of high school, you let me fall to my knees, broken, defeated, and unable to get back on my own. How could I ever feel like you were there?

“You made me fall into a pit of depression, constantly fearing for my life, unable to even get the proper paying job. Lucky for me, I made friends, one’s that you so happened to drive away, actually… Sure, you had good intentions, trying to stop me from abusing the drugs… But, when it was all said and done… What did you do to help me? Nothing, that’s what.”

The moonlight was shining in his face, revealing the tears that now trickled down his cheeks. “I...” He began, “I just… I don’t know how to act… You were there, hurting, and I didn’t know what to do. I acted selfishly… I tried to help you, but… It seems as if all I ever did was cause you more pain than happiness. I’m sorry Dominic.”

He paused, taking a deep sigh, “if you come down from there, I’ll change. I’ll help you get over the addiction, move on from mom and dad’s death… Just, don’t jump man… Please?” I watched as he reached his hand back out, hoping I’d grab it, and go back with him. “So, what do you say, will you come back?” That, was definitely the question of the day.